This year is what I affectionately call “My Charlie Brown Christmas”. I say affectionately, but that’s really not the case. I’m just trying to find the silver lining in what looks to be a depressing holiday. I’ve come to the undeniable conclusion that I can’t afford a trip to St. Louis or San Antonio to see my kids. And if I could only go to one place, how do I choose?!
So, I will be staying in T-Town with my boyfriend and we’ll have his 2-year-old daughter with us on Christmas day. I wouldn’t mind having a nice quiet Christmas with just him, but having his daughter with us will put a bit of a damper on my mood. I’ll be watching him with his kid, and missing mine terribly.
To top it all off, I don’t even have anything pretty to look at. When I got divorced, my ex got all of our Christmas decorations because he had the kids. I wanted to make sure they had things to decorate their new house with when they moved. But now, he’s gotten remarried, this is their 2nd Christmas in TX and they’re most likely using my decorations instead of getting their new ones.
One could make the argument “who cares.” “get your own new ones.” And believe me, I would. If we had any scrap of extra money I would’ve gotten some new things already. But we don’t have any extra cash, so I have not gotten anything yet. That’s why I’m calling it “My Charlie Brown Christmas”. When I get to the store next, I will be doing some creative shopping to try to get some decorations for the house. I might even go out and find a tiny little baby pine tree.
It’ll be small. It’ll be meager. But, if I look at the things I have instead of the things I’m lacking, maybe this holiday won’t turn out so bad.